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“Do what you can, with what you’ve got, where you are.” — Squire Bill Widener
I wanted so badly for somebody to make this decision for me this time.
When I woke up, I knew my marathon was probably over because when my alarm went off, I felt like I hadn’t slept at all.
It was the kind of feeling you get after partying all night and getting maybe two hours of bad sleep. My airways were extremely dry, my throat was scratchy, and I had a bit of a headache too.
In that condition, I knew I couldn’t run a marathon properly, but the real question was whether I should run at all.
The moment I started questioning my participation, my pride took over.
I told myself to have breakfast, drink some electrolytes, get ready and wait a little. Maybe things would improve once I had eaten and moved around. So I went through my traditional marathon morning routine. I ate breakfast while watching David Goggins calling me a bitch in one of his motivational videos. Then I got dressed and waited for some kind of energy to appear. But it didn’t.
I still felt terrible, but I went to the event anyway. I wanted to get approval from a medical professional before making the final decision. It was still dark while I was looking for a medical tent, but I couldn’t find one. I asked several people who were organizing the event, but nobody could tell me where I could find medical support or someone who could check me. After about 30 minutes of searching, I got quite annoyed and eventually gave up.
So there I was, standing in the starting area with around 50,000 other people and feeling absolutely terrible.
Normally, I love the atmosphere before a marathon. There is music, people are laughing, talking about their goals and strategies, and getting more and more excited as the start gets closer.
Usually I feel the adrenaline too. This time I was just standing there thinking, “Oh my God, I can’t run today in this condition.”
