Signs you're running away from something vs running toward something
How I learned to tell the difference between escaping my problems and moving toward my goals
I always thought I passionately loved to travel, and that was the only reason I booked so many flights to different places earlier in my life.
The feeling of looking out the airplane window as it took off always gave me a huge sense of relief. I felt light watching the city get smaller as we gained altitude.
Usually, I ordered a drink and celebrated being alone while everything that annoyed me in my daily life faded away. Sometimes it didn’t even matter where I was heading, as long as it was far from home.
I felt similarly liberated when I moved from one town to another, leaving everything behind, burning bridges, and starting over.
When my ex-girlfriend spent weekends with her parents, I felt the same.
Relief, relief, and more relief.
Eventually, I asked myself why I loved those moments so much, leaving everything behind permanently or just for a while.
Why did escaping give me such mental ease?
Then there’s the other side of the coin: moments when I look forward to doing something. When I don’t feel relief after finishing an activity, but satisfaction.
On days when I have a running session, I look forward to lacing my shoes and getting into the daily challenge. My goal isn’t to finish as quickly as possible but to do my best. It feels important, and I’m not just rushing through the training but paying attention to details like my running form, cadence, and step length.
The difference between these two states—running away versus running toward—isn’t always obvious in the moment.
But over time, I’ve learned to recognize the signs.
Signs You’re Running Away
There are plenty of signs that can help you recognize when you’re running away from something. Unfortunately, many of us aren’t aware of our feelings or able to identify them properly. Here are the most common signs that you might be running away from something in your life.
Constant distraction
If you constantly fill your time with work, social media, errands, or exercise to avoid quiet moments, you might be running from something inside.
Example: You spend 10 hours a day at the gym or running, not just for fitness, but to avoid thinking about a relationship issue or a stressful life choice. This is something I used to do regularly.
Emotional numbness
If you rarely feel your emotions deeply and avoid moments that might trigger sadness, anger, or fear, you may be avoiding underlying pain.
Example: You scroll through your phone or binge-watch shows whenever you start feeling stressed, instead of acknowledging your feelings.
Over-rationalizing everything
If you try to explain away your feelings logically instead of experiencing them, you may be running from emotional truths.
Example: Instead of acknowledging hurt from a friend’s comment, you tell yourself “I’m overthinking it, it doesn’t matter” repeatedly.
Sudden changes in direction
If you frequently switch jobs, cities, or relationships when things get emotionally challenging, it might indicate avoidance.
Example: You move to a new city right when a relationship gets serious or stressful, rather than facing the issues. This was my favorite escape method earlier in my life.
Difficulty being alone
If you feel anxious, bored, or restless when alone, it may indicate you’re avoiding your own thoughts or emotions.
Example: You always need to hang out with friends or watch TV when home alone, so you don’t have to reflect on life choices or feelings.
Fear of slowing down
If you feel guilty or anxious when resting, you may be avoiding vulnerability or suppressed emotions.
Example: You skip rest days, avoid quiet evenings, or feel you must always be “productive,” so you don’t have to confront lingering sadness or uncertainty.
Perfectionism or over-achievement
If you overwork, over-plan, or aim for constant perfection to avoid feeling insecure or inadequate, you’re running from self-doubt or fear.
Example: You take on extra projects or train excessively to avoid confronting feelings of failure or not being enough.
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Signs You’re Running Toward
As I mentioned in the beginning, there’s another side of the coin.
When we’re running toward something because we’ve decided to. This positive movement has its own signs too.
You actively pursue meaningful goals
If you consistently take steps toward long-term personal or professional goals, you’re running toward growth.
Example: You set a fitness or skill goal and plan weekly actions to achieve it, even when it’s hard.
You face emotions intentionally
If you allow yourself to feel and process emotions instead of avoiding them, you’re running toward self-awareness.
Example: After a conflict with a friend, you reflect on your feelings, journal about it, or have a difficult conversation instead of pretending nothing happened.
You seek learning and growth
If you deliberately challenge yourself, try new things, and embrace discomfort as a learning opportunity, you’re running toward personal development.
Example: You take on a public speaking role even though it scares you, because you know it will improve your skills and confidence.
You take responsibility for your actions
If you acknowledge mistakes and take steps to correct them, you’re running toward maturity and accountability.
Example: You admit a mistake at work and propose a solution rather than deflecting blame or making excuses.
You set boundaries to protect your growth
If you say no to things that drain your energy or distract you from your goals, you’re running toward self-care and focus.
Example: You politely decline a social invitation to finish a project that matters to your career or health.
You help and contribute
If you actively support others or contribute to causes you care about, you’re running toward meaning and connection.
Example: You volunteer, mentor someone, or assist colleagues, even when it requires extra effort and gives you nothing in return.
You reflect and plan
If you spend time understanding your motivations and making conscious decisions, you’re running toward clarity and purpose.
Example: You journal, meditate, or plan your week based on what truly matters to you, not just what’s urgent or demanding attention.
How to Check Yourself
The real challenge isn’t just knowing these signs exist.
It’s catching yourself in the act.
Here’s how I learned to check in with myself.
Step 1: Self-Reflection
Answer these questions honestly for each situation you want to evaluate:
Signs you might be running away:
Am I avoiding thinking about or feeling something uncomfortable?
Do I keep myself busy all the time so I don’t have to be alone with my thoughts?
Do I switch jobs, projects, or relationships whenever things start to get hard?
Am I trying to think my way out of emotions or distract myself through overworking or overachieving?
Do I get restless or anxious when I’m not doing anything?
Signs you might be running toward something:
Am I taking steps to grow, even when it feels uncomfortable?
Do I face my emotions, reflect on them, and try to learn from what they tell me?
Am I putting my time and energy into goals or relationships that really matter to me?
Do I challenge myself in ways that align with my values and what I care about?
Do I focus more on clarity, purpose, and long-term meaning than on quick distractions?
Step 2: Daily Check-In
At the end of each day, answer these briefly in a journal or note:
Activity: What did I do today?
Motivation: Did I do it to avoid something or to move toward something meaningful?
Feeling: How did I feel before, during, and after the activity?
Example:
Activity: Went for a long run
Motivation: To avoid thinking about a stressful conversation
Feeling: Energized physically, but still anxious emotionally
This helps you spot patterns over time.
Step 3: The “Why Test” (My Personal Favorite)
For any activity or decision, ask yourself:
Why am I doing this?
Will this action move me toward something I care about, or am I avoiding something I don’t want to face?
These simple questions trigger your mind to pause and think about your actions before they become automatic patterns.
Conclusion
The truth is, we all run away sometimes.
I still catch myself booking flights when life feels heavy or rushing through a task at work because I want to escape the discomfort, the lack of reward, and the difficulties.
The difference now is that I notice it.
I can ask myself: Am I running away from something, or toward something?
Both types of running will always be part of life.
The goal isn’t to never run away.
It’s to recognize when you are, and to choose more often to run toward the things that truly matter.
This is also the reason I’m running towards my future home, running home.
Thanks for sticking with me through this one. If you’re going through something similar, or have your own experience with this, drop a comment. I read every one. — David
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Such a great piece! You broke down the did difference between running away and running toward so clearly. I love the practical reflection points at the end too. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you delicatehibiscus. Your feedback means a lot to me.