10 Lies You Tell Yourself About Change
The myths that keep you stuck (and what actually works)
There’s a conversation I’ve had many times at the gym. Someone tells me they want to lose belly fat, but it’s not working. They’re doing biceps curls while complaining. “Look at my belly, David! That’s what I want to lose.”
I ask about their workout. Usually, it’s fine. Then I ask about their diet.
“Well, I don’t like how vegetables taste.”
“Whole grain pasta is expensive, so I just eat regular pasta with sauce.”
“I do not drink much alcohol, just a couple of gin tonics with beer on the weekend.”
“I love to eat, David. We all need our rewards.”
They want to add more workouts. They’re not ready to stop drinking, eating junk food, or lying to themselves about what “moderation” means.
I recognize this pattern because I did the same thing for years. I told myself lies that sounded smart but kept me stuck. I believed I was trying when I was really just performing effort without getting results.
Here are 10 lies I stopped believing when I got real about change.
1. “I can out-exercise a bad diet”
You can, but you won’t. To burn off one doughnut, you’d need 30-40 minutes of running. Just one. But it sounds good because you don’t need to stop eating what you want, and you overestimate the effect of those two gym sessions a week.
Then you skip the gym because you’re tired, but you still ate the doughnut. Or that 500-calorie Frappuccino.
What actually works: Pay attention to your diet first. You can’t rely on the gym to fix what you’re eating every day.
2. “I’ll have a cheat meal on Saturday”
If you’re waiting for Saturday to finally eat your cheat meal, your diet is wrong. A diet isn’t about suffering all week and then rewarding yourself with a double-cheese pizza and eight beers. Everything you gained during the week, you demolish in one night.
I don’t believe in cheat meals, at least not at the beginning. Focus on making your regular meals enjoyable so you’re not counting down to Saturday.
What actually works: Spend time making your diet delicious and sustainable. Use AI for recipes if you need to. If you hate what you’re eating, you won’t stick with it.
3. “Morning routines will change my life”
Get up early, take a cold shower, journal, meditate, stretch and then you will have an amazing day. I wish it worked like that. But if you’ve been forcing yourself to get up early after going to bed late, you don’t have the energy to do any of it properly. The best morning routine can’t save you if you’re exhausted.
What actually works: Evening routines matter more. Stop scrolling two hours before bed. Don’t watch TV or eat heavy meals late. Go to bed by 10pm. When you sleep well, you wake up with energy. You don’t need an elaborate morning routine when you’re actually rested.
4. “Manifestation will make it happen”
Dream about it, visualize it, say it out loud, and it becomes reality. Having a positive mindset is important, but nobody has achieved anything by manifesting alone. Without action, it’s just lying to yourself loudly.
I used to write goals in journals and feel accomplished. I visualized success. Then I’d go back to scrolling Instagram and drinking beer. Nothing changed.
What actually works: Determination with action. Believe in yourself while working hard every day. Reflect on your actions and results. Adjust. Keep working. That’s the process that brings results. Say “I’m going to do this” with confidence, then do the work. Don’t say “I’m amazing and rich” and wait for a miracle.
5. “I need the right gear first”
I recognize myself here completely. I bought a GoPro, expensive Canon camera, microphone, iPhone, all the gadgets. Then I had all these things around me, less money, and I hadn’t typed a single word or sold anything.
It’s fun to upgrade gear when you’re getting better and actually understand why a $1,000 camera costs that much. But buying it first doesn’t make you a filmmaker.
What actually works: Start with what you have. Want to try running? Buy cheap shoes first. Want to make videos? Use your phone. Want to read more? Read the books you already own. Put in the work first. Upgrade later when you’ve earned it.
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6. “I’m going to [big goal]” (without doing anything)
The romantic feeling you get when you announce your big goal. There’s your family, your friends. You make a speech about change. Everyone cheers. You feel like you’ve already arrived.
But most people who announce big moves don’t even know what they’re talking about. They say they’ll run a marathon, then skip their first three-hour Saturday training. They want to quit alcohol, then get shaky legs when their coworkers invite them to an after work event in a nearby bar.
Our goals look easier in our minds than in reality. And many of us fail in the first week.
What actually works: Don’t announce your goals. Don’t decide your goal is a marathon if you haven’t run two kilometers yet. Start small. Test those first steps. After a couple of months, if you’re still doing it, then you can set a bigger goal. But still, do not announce it.
7. “I’ll start on Monday”
Let’s be honest, we have all said this.
The future start date that never arrives. We want to start on Monday, but then there’s a meeting. Or a stressful day. Or we just don’t have the motivation.
It’s like breaking up with someone. The time is never right. So we push it to next month, but then there’s Christmas. Then a family dinner. Then a birthday. We keep pushing the start endlessly while lying to ourselves that we’ll do it Monday.
What actually works: Leave the first day behind you. Want to write? Write 300 words today. Want to run? Go out and run 1km around the block. Now you’ve started. Your mind does not have the pressure of starting anymore, you are thinking about how to do it better next time. You’re already in action. That’s the whole point.
8. “When I achieve X, then I’ll be happy”
People spend their whole life waiting for that particular event. When I get the job, then I’ll rest more. When I have that amount of money, then I’ll travel. When I have the girlfriend, then I’ll work less.
What if you never achieve X? Then you’ll never do anything except wait. And if you wait too long, you won’t be able to stop doing what you’re doing now. If you’ve worked 20 years without rest, do you really think you’ll suddenly stop when you achieve X? This is just an excuse not to do what you want because you don’t actually want it.
What actually works: Ask yourself why you’re not happy today. Don’t make your happiness depend on future goals. Build it now.
9. “Self-care means treating myself”
Bubble bath, expensive steak dinner, a few drinks to unwind. We call it self-care, but it’s really just hedonism. It feels good in the moment, but it doesn’t fix anything.
I used to think self-care meant rewarding myself with things that felt good. Ordering takeout after a hard day. Having beers on Friday because I “earned it.” Sleeping in because I was “exhausted.”
Real self-care isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it’s going to bed early when you want to stay up. Saying no to plans when you’re drained. Having a hard conversation instead of avoiding it. Cooking a healthy meal when you’d rather order pizza.
What actually works: Self-care is doing what your future self will thank you for, not what feels good right now.
10. “I need to research more before I start”
One more article. One more YouTube video. One more course. Just a bit more research and then you’ll be ready to start.
But you’re never ready. There’s always more to learn. Research becomes a way to feel productive without doing anything. You’re learning about running instead of running. Reading about writing instead of writing. Watching videos about starting a business instead of starting one.
I spent months “researching” how to build a newsletter before I wrote a single article. All that research didn’t help. The first article I published taught me more than 50 articles about writing.
What actually works: Start badly. Learn by doing. You can research while you work, but you can’t work while you endlessly research.
Stop Lying, Start Living
These 10 lies sound smart. They feel productive. They let you believe you’re trying.
But they keep you exactly where you are.
I believed all of them. They kept me stuck for years. The moment I stopped believing them and started getting honest about what actually works, everything changed.
Stop lying to yourself. Get uncomfortable. Do the work.
Thanks for sticking with me through this one. If you’re going through something similar, or have your own experience with this, drop a comment. I read every one. — David
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I love this piece so much! I was a personal trainer some years ago so many of these resonated with my experience. Personally though, I’ve been confronting the last one! It’s so easy to use a “lack of preparation” as an excuse to delay action. That only keeps us stuck where we are! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and alternatives that actually work.