6 Things I Wish I Knew at 25
Lessons I learned the hard way
I’ve been planning to write this for a long time. About the wisdom I acquired on my bumpy road. Things I wish somebody had told me when I was young so I didn’t waste years learning them the hard way.
These might be obvious to you. Hopefully, you’re already well-equipped.
If not, the experiences I’ve had in 38 years might help you avoid the same mistakes.
Here are the 6 things I wish I knew when I was younger.
1. A Healthy Body Is the Highest Priority
I grew up in a family where smoking, drinking, and eating heavy, unhealthy food were normal. The reward for a work week was alcohol and chain smoking. I lived the same way in my 20s.
My regular breakfast was 2 cans of cheap energy drinks and 4 cigarettes. My lunch was the cheapest pizza delivered to my apartment. I put on weight, became unfit, and had panic attacks every day.
If somebody told me to pay attention to my health, I would have laughed. I thought I’d stay 20 years old forever.
Don’t make the same mistake.
There’s a line that says how you lived in your 20s shows itself in your 30s. I couldn’t agree more. I started getting gray hair and losing hair. My skin became dry. I looked old and burned out.
Fortunately, I realized it in time. I quit smoking. Stopped drinking. Started exercising regularly, running, stretching. And most importantly, sleeping well.
Since then, my hair loss slowed down. My skin cleared up. I have energy again.
If you’re healthy and fit, you can do anything in your life.
You can work more, travel more, be there for the people you love. Your body carries you every single day. Everything else is built on your health.
Treat your body as a temple.
2. Nobody Is Coming to Save You
I was the victim of my life. The victim of circumstances. Poor family. Schools where teachers didn’t like me. Employers that didn’t reward my value. Unfaithful women.
I had an answer for everything, but it was never about me. I blamed everyone.
I said loudly: “If life won’t get better, then I won’t do anything at all.”
Nobody cared about my whiny threat.
After years of victimhood, I had to face the conclusion nobody wants to hear:
Nobody cares about your problems.
People might listen, but then everyone returns to their own life. And you’ll still be on the couch, but nothing will happen. No miracle. No sudden improvement. The woman or man of your dreams won’t ring the bell. The employer won’t call with a great offer. Your muscles won’t grow. Your business won’t build itself.
If you don’t do something about your life, nothing will happen.
This applies to you too.
It’s hard to accept, but here’s the positive side:
If nobody is coming to help you, then you’re the only one who can do something about your life.
You don’t need to wait. You don’t need to blame anyone. You can start today and change your life.
Forget living on hope. Hope won’t help you. Action will.
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3. Get Help and Deal with Your Demons
In my parents’ generation, therapy meant you were crazy. Talking about emotions was weakness, so people swallowed it instead.
At age 24, I asked myself why I was such an asshole and treated people so badly.
I decided to go to therapy for the first time, and it was a game-changer.
That first therapist gave me the book Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. I couldn’t put it down. It helped me understand the family dynamics and why I felt so much pain.
That led to other therapies where I discovered more beliefs and painful memories I’d been carrying.
After 10 years of working on myself, I put everything on the table. All my negative behaviors came to the surface, and I solved the underlying problems or gained control by being aware of them.
That work helped me become the happy person I am today.
I know young men and women who have deep-seated problems but won’t deal with them because it’s painful. I know because I cried for months. I numbed myself with alcohol, smoking, and food. I tried to escape by traveling and dating four times a week.
But these things won’t help. The only thing that helps is facing those demons.
The reward is huge. It’s a life of feeling reborn, free, and light every day, being able to build everything on a rock-solid foundation.
If you’re not well or think there’s something worth looking at with external help, don’t wait too long.
4. Everything Is Temporary (The Good and the Bad)
We hope for the end of difficult phases, but the good times also have an end date. That’s hard to accept, but it helps you appreciate things and not take them for granted.
I stepped into this trap many times, thinking something would last forever. Relationships, good financial phases, friendships, places, opportunities.
They all end eventually.
But the new phase after a good phase isn’t necessarily worse than the previous one.
When we accept the nature of phases, it helps us survive difficult times easier. I’ve had many of those, and every time the turning point came, I became happier than before.
If you’re in a bad place now, remember: that phase also has an expiry date.
5. Your Callings Aren’t What You Expect
Everyone talks about passion and calling. “Follow your passion. Find your purpose.”
Most people expect some enlightenment moment that says you should travel to Hollywood and become an actor or start a billion-dollar startup.
Unfortunately, callings have a much wider range than we think.
I figured out mine through self-discovery: biology, geography, movies, reading, writing. I love watching movies. Maybe I’ll shoot one someday. Looking at maps gives me the feeling of being an explorer. I read books every day and write on Substack.
These are my callings, and they make my life richer and happier. They’re not what people would expect, but they’re mine, and I feel aligned.
The most important thing is that these are my callings, not someone else’s.
If you experience joy while doing some activity, even if you don’t want to accept it, take a closer look. That might be your calling.
6. Hard Work Usually Pays Off
It doesn’t matter if it’s your job, fitness, or side project, hard work probably pays off.
I know many people who work hard and have results. When I was lazy and surrounded by people with a “don’t work too hard” mentality, we didn’t have any relevant results.
There’s a line that you shouldn’t half-ass anything in your life, and I believe it’s true. If you say you want to be jacked, you can’t stop reps when it hurts a bit. You can’t quit the job when the first challenge arises.
Hard work usually won’t go unnoticed. I started working hard in the last three years, and the results are coming.
Here’s one important thing I realized: I always believed I worked hard, but it wasn’t true. I started complaining way too early because that’s what I learned from my parents and friends who hated their jobs.
Then I realized when I focus more on the work and less on my whiny thoughts, I can deliver great results and work harder than I thought.
Just give it a try. Next time ask yourself: Do I really work hard?
Final Thought
If you only pick one lesson from this and implement it into your life, I’ve already achieved what I wanted.
One more request: If you have experiences that taught you wisdom, please share with me. I’m always looking for insights that can help us live better, healthier, and happier lives.
Thanks for sticking with me through this one. If you’re going through something similar, or have your own experience with this, drop a comment. I read every one. — David
Read More:
Wisdom is only wise when you apply it and share it with the world.
You made a great turnaround because you had the courage to address your life. Many don't do that and stay average.
My first "therapy" book was The family by John Bradshaw, it was hard for me to read because it was saying so many painful truths in it.