Thanks David, this is a very brutally honest piece. Congrats on your transformational journey. I'm also on a similar path, but still a long way to go. It does feel so much better when I look back at where I started. My biggest trap was to buy books and courses about various topics (self-improvement and business) before looking at my emotional regulation issues. I only learned later, that all my failed attempts were due to not being able to regulate my emotions. Since working on that, many of the tips and tricks now started to work finally.
Thank you, Lilla, for taking the time to read and write about your own experience. I know that problem very well. I bought countless books and paid for many courses and online trainings, hoping they would solve all my problems. They are good for inspiration, but as you said, the emotional part is the most important part of the whole journey. I hope you’re doing well, and I’m pretty sure you will achieve everything you want.
It takes an insane amount of maturity and courage to say and admit that we are largely responsible for our destiny, as you just did. Your honesty is truly inspiring. I am one of those that in college while others were partying I was studying, and when working while others spent it all I was saving some, etc. and at the time making those sacrifices was not always exciting but they do make a huge positive difference later in life.
In your case you were not only able to get back on track but to inspire others that think it is too late to correct one’s ways in all areas of of lives, and that is an extremely important message. David, you are truly an inspiration to us all, even to us who have led a more disciplined life, as it is certainly much harder to get back on track after going off track than if one has stayed on track all along. As long as we are alive, each day is a new day and can be a new start.
Also, many had wives that have shrinks had no name for.
Between ages 12 -15, my mother would periodically shake me, screaming “Your birth RUINED my life!I” Shakings were unprovoked. 2nd time, I knew she meant it. No idea why it started and stopped. I cognitively gave myself credit by remembering that I made good grades. Teachers loved me. I never told anybody about it for years.
My solution., vasectomy 3 months after marriage. Wife's parents, notbviolent told her, her siblings were “no great shakes.”. We never looked back.
Later, we learned the inevitability of our doing the same.
Age 77, I have less frequent nightmares for 58 years. I fight back now
I cope better. Neuroscience explains why it never goes away. Dr. Vera Hart, MDPhD, here 9n substack, very good writer has weekly treasure trove of essays
Thanks David, this is a very brutally honest piece. Congrats on your transformational journey. I'm also on a similar path, but still a long way to go. It does feel so much better when I look back at where I started. My biggest trap was to buy books and courses about various topics (self-improvement and business) before looking at my emotional regulation issues. I only learned later, that all my failed attempts were due to not being able to regulate my emotions. Since working on that, many of the tips and tricks now started to work finally.
Thank you, Lilla, for taking the time to read and write about your own experience. I know that problem very well. I bought countless books and paid for many courses and online trainings, hoping they would solve all my problems. They are good for inspiration, but as you said, the emotional part is the most important part of the whole journey. I hope you’re doing well, and I’m pretty sure you will achieve everything you want.
It takes an insane amount of maturity and courage to say and admit that we are largely responsible for our destiny, as you just did. Your honesty is truly inspiring. I am one of those that in college while others were partying I was studying, and when working while others spent it all I was saving some, etc. and at the time making those sacrifices was not always exciting but they do make a huge positive difference later in life.
In your case you were not only able to get back on track but to inspire others that think it is too late to correct one’s ways in all areas of of lives, and that is an extremely important message. David, you are truly an inspiration to us all, even to us who have led a more disciplined life, as it is certainly much harder to get back on track after going off track than if one has stayed on track all along. As long as we are alive, each day is a new day and can be a new start.
DAVID MEZ
In MensGroup.com past 3 years.
Major consolation
several 100s of other guys had horrible parents.
Also, many had wives that have shrinks had no name for.
Between ages 12 -15, my mother would periodically shake me, screaming “Your birth RUINED my life!I” Shakings were unprovoked. 2nd time, I knew she meant it. No idea why it started and stopped. I cognitively gave myself credit by remembering that I made good grades. Teachers loved me. I never told anybody about it for years.
My solution., vasectomy 3 months after marriage. Wife's parents, notbviolent told her, her siblings were “no great shakes.”. We never looked back.
Later, we learned the inevitability of our doing the same.
Age 77, I have less frequent nightmares for 58 years. I fight back now
I cope better. Neuroscience explains why it never goes away. Dr. Vera Hart, MDPhD, here 9n substack, very good writer has weekly treasure trove of essays