7 Things I Stopped Doing When I Got Serious About Change

Sometimes growth is about what you remove, not what you add

Jan 17, 2026

Photorealistic image of person walking forward on path, leaving behind scattered items on the ground (wine bottle, phone, junk food), shot from behind, cool morning light, blue-green tones, sense of moving on and leaving old habits behind, cinematic composition

When I was 35 years old and had another broken relationship behind me, I recognized something I never had before: I was running in circles.

My life was always the same. Be single, find a girlfriend to feel loved (because I didn’t love myself at all), do everything to keep that relationship alive. Serve. Maintain harmony. Ignore my own needs, wishes, and desires.

And then it would end. Not nicely, but with panic, helplessness, fear, and emptiness. Because besides the relationship, there was nothing I could live for.

But the last time it ended, something clicked. I finally saw the pattern. And I decided to break the cycle.

For the first time in my life, I put myself in focus. My well-being. My interests. My life. Because I realized something nobody told me in my early years: if I have my shit together and I’m happy alone, I can have healthier relationships with others.

I took this seriously. And here are the seven things I stopped doing when I got serious about change.

1. The Victim Mentality

My mother was the definition of victimhood. That was her way to get attention, and I learned it from her. I loved lying on the couch telling myself that I did everything right, but life was unfair to me. Everyone around me had a better life. They had luck. I didn’t.

After that last breakup, I caught myself every time I started sinking into the victim mindset. I reminded myself that I have control over my life and can do something about my misery.

For the first time, I felt how empowering it is to realize I’m not helpless. This new mindset turned into a life-changing habit. Now, if there’s something I need to do, bureaucratic stuff, taxes, sport, writing, I go into action immediately. No procrastination, no excuses. I simply do it because I have control.

2. Saying Yes to Everything

I was a huge people pleaser. I wanted to be liked and loved in a very needy way. If somebody asked me to help them move, I did it even if I didn’t have the time. If somebody invited me to a party, the default answer was yes. I often had panic attacks and shaking hands because my body was sending obvious signals that it was too much. I ignored them.

After the breakup, I started saying no and stating my own opinion. Most people appreciated the honesty, and nobody got annoyed when I declined an invitation. That positive experience gave me confidence. I knew I could survive even if just a few people liked me.

Today, my default answer is no. And I’ve never regretted saying it. Not once.

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3. Scrolling Instagram

I used to scroll Instagram for hours every day. As someone who didn’t know who he was or what he wanted, I became a target of the algorithm. I felt jealousy constantly and was never content with my life because I always compared myself to others. Instagram injected the toxic feeling into my brain that my life was shitty.

In 2023, I deleted it. The positive improvement was bigger than I expected. I started executing my own plans. I became confident in my own ideas. I realized my life wasn’t shitty at all, I just had to give it a chance.

Today, I still don’t have Instagram and can’t imagine installing it again. I’m too busy with my own life to scroll through someone else’s.

4. Drinking

One year and four months today since I had my last beer. It wasn’t just about making a serious change, it was about the health benefits. The brain fog, the hangovers, the dry skin, tired face, and wasted weekends.

I had been drinking for more than 20 years, so it was a long journey. But now I’m not sure if I’ll ever drink again. Being sober strengthened my confidence because I no longer rely on alcohol for social events, dates, or a boring Friday at home.

If somebody asks if I want a drink, I tell them with almost pride that I don’t drink. Most people don’t have a problem with it. And I got back my weekends, my performance, my sleep, and I feel amazing every single day.

5. Late Nights

I’ve heard so many times that after 10pm nothing interesting happens in life. The chain reaction of not drinking anymore led me to test this habit too.

At the beginning, it felt weird to turn off the light so “early.” But today it’s one of my most important habits. If I go to sleep early, I sleep better. When I sleep well, I have more energy. I can focus better and my nervous system is balanced.

There are exceptions like the movie theater or dinner with friends, but the default is 10pm. No TV shows until midnight, no video games, no phone scrolling. This change provides the foundation for every other important habit in my life.

6. Junk Food

When the big turning point arrived, I wanted to dive into health much deeper than ever. I cut processed sugar completely, stopped eating junk food, and became my own cook. When I go to the supermarket, almost everything I buy is fresh, not processed or wrapped in plastic.

People say if you want a healthy life, focus 80% on diet and 20% on sport. I agree. In the gym, I always see guys who show up regularly but can’t lose the belly fat because their diet isn’t good enough.

Since changing my diet, I feel healthier than ever. My skin is clear, my hair loss slowed down, and it positively impacted my sleep too.

7. Reacting Impulsively

This is a smaller change but very beneficial. There’s a line that says: if you don’t control your emotions, your emotions will control you. I took it seriously.

When somebody messages me at work with something annoying, I wait before I reply. I’ve caught myself typing something rude because I got angry, then deleted it and changed it to something constructive. It gives me a better feeling because I show myself they can’t control me.

This habit also applies to shopping. Every time I put something in my basket, I wait at least one day and ask myself if I really need it. Most cases, I don’t order anything because I realize I don’t need it at all.

This habit protects me, my relationships, and my wallet.

The Compound Effect

None of these changes happened overnight. And none of them work in isolation. They build on each other. When I stopped drinking, going to bed early became easier. When I slept better, eating healthy became easier. When I ate healthy, I had more energy. When I had more energy, I could say no to things that drained me.

Sometimes growth isn’t about adding more to your life. It’s about removing what’s holding you back.

What do you need to stop doing?

Thanks for sticking with me through this one. If you’re going through something similar, or have your own experience with this, drop a comment. I read every one. — David