How to Know If You're Living on Autopilot
10 signs you're sleepwalking through your life (and what to do about it)
Do you remember what you did yesterday and why?
And what did you do today?
And why?
Surprisingly, a lot of people struggle to answer these questions, especially the why part.
I remember three years ago when I wanted to buy a Christmas tree only for myself, but I stopped before I could leave my apartment because a question came into my mind:
Why am I doing this at all?
The only thing I could tell myself was: because I’ve always done it.
I spent money every year on a Christmas tree just to have it for two weeks in my apartment and throw it out after the short holiday season.
After I realized that, I asked myself whether I really needed it.
Funnily, the answer was a straightforward no.
This wasn’t the first moment in my life that I questioned recurring things, and the more I realized how powerful the question actually was, the more I adapted this new way of being: living deliberately.
It feels like taking over the wheel on a road where I was only a passenger before. The car had been operating in autopilot mode. Now I’m able to push the brake, slow down, look at the map, and ask myself where I actually want to go.
It’s freedom.
Over the years, I developed the habit of awareness, which helps me not to slip back into the passenger seat.
Most of the things I do today have their purpose in my life. Either they carry me toward my goals or give me space and time to rest or entertain myself.
And I can tell that this way of living highly contributes to the fact that I feel really happy, well-balanced, and content with everything I do.
Now, having this experience, I want to help you wake up and gain control over your life - control that you might never have had, or that you lost by falling into sleepwalking without even noticing it.
You might feel frustrated, weak, bored, angry, or exhausted without knowing what the reason could be.
If you’re interested, stay with me through the following sections. I’m going to give you a simple framework for how to start living deliberately and free so you can be the leader of your own life again.
Understanding Autopilot: Your Brain's Default Mode
Autopilot is when your behavior runs automatically based on habits, routines, or learned patterns.
It’s like the brain executing a stored program that we or somebody else installed.
There’s no active decision or evaluation about whether the program is needed or useful, but it still gets executed on a regular basis.
For example, when you wake up and reach for your phone as your first move in the morning, or when you make coffee.
You don’t think about these things before you do them.
Autopilot is actually a helpful feature of the brain. It frees up mental energy for other things, and you don’t need to think about what you should do next because the brain simply runs the familiar program again and again.
It helps to avoid decision fatigue and also helps us become better at things we’re learning.
The Problem: When Autopilot Controls Your Life
The problem is that this state of mind reduces our awareness.
If we’re not aware of our actions, we don’t question them either.
We simply do them.
For example, if you’ve been driving the same route to a destination for a long time, you’ll probably never ask whether there’s a better way to get there.
Or even why you’re driving there at all.
That’s the most interesting part of autopilot mode.
Not the feature itself, but what program has been put into it and by whom.
Some of these programs are installed slowly by our environment.
Parents, teachers, friends, partners, or social media.
Habits we picked up from other people, or routines we never consciously questioned, can quietly turn into default behavior. Over time they become so familiar that we execute them without noticing.
This can turn into a problem because we’re running habits on autopilot that might work against our goals, happiness, physical and mental health.
For example, when you’re a smoker just because your parents were smokers too.
Or you picked up the social drinking habit after work, but you don’t even know why you’re drinking and suffer from the consequences.
Other programs, however, can be installed intentionally.
Someone might decide to read every morning, go for a short walk after work, or spend a few minutes reflecting at the end of the day.
At first these actions require effort, but after a while they become automatic as well.
In both cases, the same mechanism is at work. The brain simply runs the program it has learned.
The difference is not autopilot itself.
The difference is who wrote the program.
And that raises an important question:
If autopilot quietly runs so much of our daily life, how can we tell when it’s taking over in a way that no longer serves us?
There are several small signals that suggest someone might be living mostly on unconscious autopilot.
Quick favor: If this resonates with you, I’d be grateful if you subscribed to Running Home. I share more stories like this about growth, awareness, and the messy journey back to yourself. It’s free, and it helps me keep writing honestly. Thank you. — David
10 Signs You're Living on Autopilot
1. Every Day Feels Exactly the Same
If you look back at the last week and can’t remember anything specific that stood out, life may be running on autopilot.
This happens because routines repeat without reflection. The brain simply executes the same schedule every day without questioning it.
The problem is that when days blend together, time starts to feel like it’s passing very quickly.
Example: You wake up, go to work, come home, watch something, sleep, and repeat the same pattern every day. Months later you feel like the year disappeared but nothing happened.
2. Reaching for the Phone Without Thinking
One of the most common modern autopilot habits is grabbing the phone immediately after waking up or whenever there’s a moment of boredom.
This is autopilot because the action happens before any conscious thought. The habit is triggered automatically without looking for anything specific.
The problem is that it allows external input to control the start of the day.
Example: Someone is waiting in line at a store or sitting on the train for a few minutes. Instead of simply observing their surroundings or letting their mind rest, their hand immediately reaches for the phone. They unlock it, open social media, and start scrolling without even thinking about why they picked it up in the first place.
3. Saying Yes to Things Automatically
People on autopilot often accept invitations, responsibilities, or requests without asking themselves if they actually want them.
The response becomes a default reaction.
The danger is that life slowly fills with obligations that were never consciously chosen.
Example: I was one of those people who always said yes to everyone. Party? Yes. Poker? Yes. Day-drinking? Yes. Then I ended up with exhaustion and shaking hands because I didn’t choose how to spend my time - other people chose for me.
4. Complaining About the Same Problems for Years
When you keep repeating the same complaints but never take action, it often means you’re stuck in an autopilot pattern.
Your mind keeps replaying the same story instead of looking for change.
Example: A person complains about their job every week but never explores other options or develops new skills.
5. Living According to Other People’s Expectations
Autopilot can also come from social pressure.
Instead of asking what they truly want, someone simply follows the path that seems expected by family, culture, or society.
Example: Choosing a career, lifestyle, or goals mainly because it’s considered the “normal” path. The problem is that years later the person may realize they built a life that doesn’t actually feel like their own.
6. Avoiding Quiet Moments
People who live on autopilot often keep themselves constantly distracted.
Silence creates space for reflection, and reflection can challenge existing routines.
Example: Whenever there’s a free moment, someone immediately opens social media, plays a video, or fills the silence with noise. Without quiet moments, it becomes difficult to notice whether life is moving in the right direction.
7. Acting from Habits Instead of Values
Autopilot behavior usually comes from habits that were formed long ago.
The person may no longer ask whether those habits still match their current values.
Example: Someone continues spending evenings the same way they did ten years ago, even though their goals and priorities have changed.
8. Never Trying Anything New
Autopilot keeps people inside familiar routines.
Trying new experiences requires awareness and a conscious decision.
Example: Going to the same places, eating the same food, watching the same types of content, and never experimenting with something different. Over time this can lead to a feeling of stagnation.
9. Feeling Busy but Not Progressing
Many people on autopilot are actually very busy.
However, their actions aren’t connected to a clear direction.
Example: A person spends the entire day responding to emails, notifications, and small tasks but never works on things that truly move their life forward. The activity feels productive but doesn’t create meaningful progress.
10. Never Asking the Bigger Questions
The clearest sign of autopilot is when someone rarely stops to ask fundamental questions about their life.
Questions like:
Why am I doing this?
Is this the direction I want?
What would I change if I started again?
Example: Someone keeps following the same path for years simply because they started it earlier. Without reflection, autopilot can keep a person moving in a direction they never consciously chose.
How to Take Control of Your Autopilot
Once you decide to review your life and the habits that are running on autopilot, you have already taken the first step in the right direction.
It means you are aware of the existence of this feature. And believe me, many people spend their whole lives without even noticing that their entire life runs on autopilot with the wrong software.
But now you can go further than that and start designing your own life the way you want from scratch by following a few basic steps.
Daily Self-Checks: The 5-Minute Habit That Changed My Life
This very simple, almost laughable daily habit changed my life.
And I’m not exaggerating.
I usually start my day with a coffee (which I drink intentionally), and then before I do anything else, I sit down awkwardly at the kitchen table and ask myself loudly:
What’s the plan for today?
It takes only a few minutes to think through and adjust if necessary.
The goal is that everything I do, I do with intention.
I work because I need money to pay the rent, to invest, and to build my side projects.
I exercise because I pay attention to my health.
I read every day, at least one page of my book, because reading is important to me.
I also doomscroll, but with intention. I know that it helps me distance myself from work, so I don’t remove it completely from my life, but I do it with intention within a time frame (20 minutes).
I stretch in the evening because I want to stay flexible, it helps prevent injuries, and I sleep better.
Everything on the list is chosen by me. All the activities support at least one of the most important areas in my life that I want to pay the most attention to.
At the end of the day, I do the same review but in a more reflective way.
I ask myself loudly, usually at the kitchen table again:
How was my day?
I go through, one by one, all the things I’ve accomplished or spent my time with and think about whether I could do something differently the next day.
For example, when I realize that I was emotionally involved at work too much and that made me feel annoyed or angry, then I think about the strategy for how to approach the next day if it happens again.
When I feel too exhausted after my training, then I ask myself if I should do a bit less the next day so I can avoid being too tired again.
Think about this like a conversation with your best friend. In this case, you’re both, and the friend has the intention to support you as well as possible. It might feel weird at the beginning and it requires a bit more effort, but after a while this habit will end up in your autopilot mode, and that’s exactly what you want.
The Habit Audit: Aligning Your Actions with Your Goals
The daily checking is great to review your days and bring more awareness into them, but you can go one step further by auditing your habits.
This exercise requires more time and thinking because you not only need to review your habits but also your goals. The habits carry you toward your goals if you put the right habits into autopilot mode.
Ask yourself: What do you want to achieve? What are your goals?
Write them down and write your daily habits next to them without judging them.
This makes mismatches and contradictions visible.
For example, if you say that you want to have a six-pack but you start the day with a Frappuccino and a doughnut, then it won’t work out easily.
Or maybe you want to have a wonderful romantic relationship, but you’re chasing one-night stands every weekend in cheap clubs, you’re broke, and you can’t even say what you’re interested in except partying. (And yes, that is also a habit even if it doesn’t look like it.)
Ask yourself loudly:
Why are you doing these habits?
What purpose do they serve?
If your answer is “I don’t know,” then it can be a sign of an installed program by somebody else.
Once you’ve figured out what you want, then you can think about the habits that bring you toward your goals and put them into your autopilot program.
These changes will make you really content with your own life because you'll know what and why things are happening and who's in charge of those habits: YOU.
Track Your Energy: Finding the Habits That Drain You
If you always feel tired, then there’s probably a reason for that. Many people have poor sleep habits and they truly believe that sleeping 6 hours and drinking 10 coffees in the office just to survive the day is normal.
It’s not normal.
Normal is that you wake up in the morning well-rested and ready for the day.
Tracking your energy level is a great indicator to find blind spots regarding your habits in autopilot mode.
You can ask yourself the following questions while sitting down and being completely honest with yourself:
In the morning: How do I feel? How much energy do I have? Do I need the coffee because otherwise I would fall asleep, or do I just like how it tastes?
After work: How do I feel? Did the day drain my energy, or do I feel alright? Did I have fun, or did I just do the regular chore I hate?
After social events: How do I feel? Do I need a weekend alone after I spent an evening out, or do I feel energized by that?
Every single answer will help you understand your life better and identify if there’s something in your autopilot mode that shouldn’t be there because it doesn’t serve you but drains you.
Do Hard Things: Building Awareness Through Discomfort
This is something you read everywhere nowadays, especially where people talk about self-help a lot. Michael Easter wrote a book called The Comfort Crisis. Andrew Huberman talks on his podcast Huberman Lab about how doing hard things regularly grows the part of your brain called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex, and it helps you deal with future challenges more easily.
There are plenty of arguments for doing hard things regularly, and there’s another one that’s relevant if you want to adjust your autopilot.
Doing hard things increases awareness drastically. When I run my interval sprints, I’m so deeply present in the moment that I exclude everything else from my consciousness.
These difficult tasks remind you that you can influence your life through effort. When you push through a hard workout, learn a difficult skill, or finish challenging work, you experience direct proof that your actions matter.
This shifts the mindset from passive to active.
Easy routines fade into the background of memory.
Hard experiences stand out.
The hard trainings, the marathon, the article I wrote, the yoga session that really challenged me are the things I won’t forget easily.
Your Life, Your Programs
Living on autopilot isn’t inherently bad. The brain uses it to save energy and make life easier.
But when autopilot runs programs you never chose, or programs that no longer serve you, it becomes a problem.
You’ll be frustrated and unsatisfied with your own life without knowing the reason for that.
The difference between sleepwalking through life and living deliberately is awareness.
Awareness that you’re on autopilot.
Awareness of who installed the programs.
Awareness of whether those programs still work for you.
Once you have that awareness, you can make a choice.
You can keep the helpful programs and delete the harmful ones. You can install new programs that carry you toward your actual goals.
You can take control.
The exercises in this article - daily self-checks, habit audits, energy tracking, doing hard things - are tools to build that awareness.
They won’t work overnight. I’ve been practicing them for three years, and I still catch myself slipping back into autopilot sometimes.
But the difference is, now I notice. And when I notice, I can choose.
That’s freedom.
Not living perfectly. Not never making mistakes. But having the awareness to see what’s happening and the power to change it.
So start small. Pick one exercise. Try it for a week.
Ask yourself the questions. Notice the patterns. See what’s running in the background.
Then decide: Is this the program I want?
If the answer is yes, keep it.
If the answer is no, rewrite it.
Thanks for sticking with me through this one. If you’re going through something similar, or have your own experience with this, drop a comment. I read every one. — David
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